Accepting and following the rules established inside a family is natural for most children. Even as we grow up, unconsciously, we do as we are used to – as our parents and close relatives used to do and told us to. However, personal development is key in everyone’s life. Normally, these transformations begin in the teenage years. One starts preparing to graduate from high school and needs to make plans. That is not easy, and most teenagers get confused, especially when relatives actively impose their views on poor children.
When you do not resist the pressure, there is a high chance of ending up in the wrong place. For instance, you may spend years studying the wrong major just because your parents wanted you to study it. In such cases, students often deal with dissatisfaction and lack the motivation to make an effort to succeed. Some manage to resolve this issue by addressing an essay writer online that completes their written assignments for them. Obviously, it makes it much easier to get through college years, but what about following your own dreams and meeting your own expectations?
Remind Yourself Who You Are Doing It For
You might be as excited about your major as your parents are but have divergent views on how you should spend your student years or what aspects to focus on. There are so many points to argue about:
- whether you will move to a dorm or a separate apartment
- what minor to choose
- what grades to strive for
- combining work and studies
- focusing on sports instead of the main subjects
- aiming for scholarships and grants
- participating in competitions, exchange programs, trips, and so on.
Whatever decision you end up with, it is crucial to make it based on your values, aims, and wishes. Satisfying the expectations of your family may not lead to anything good, especially when your family members do not even have an agreement on what is best for you. In the latter case, you risk wasting your effort and stretching yourself thin instead of listening to your needs.
Get Any Help You Can
For some people, it is much easier to pretend they are trying to meet their parents’ expectations to avoid unnecessary confrontation. Yes, it’s cheating, but it works – one gets to find a job or find useful courses.
Yet, pretending you do well in your studies is hard if you have poor grades. If you start working hard on those, it is no longer pretending but following the wishes of others and wasting your time. So, consider delegating your assignments to experts. You can find those by checking the essaypro com review or other reviews.
To simplify your college years, even more, ask senior students for some hacks that will spare you some time and effort. The free time can be used to do what you really like.
You Can Always Learn What You Don’t Know (When You Need)
This one is more of a reminder rather than a tip. Yes, you might not be a genius at chemistry at school, but you can keep up with any subject later. So, if the only downside of your lack of understanding is average or poor grades that do not matter much for your future, it is not worth your extra effort.
One can’t know everything learning institutions’ curricula are filled with. Besides, this material might not be useful for you for the next decade at least, so you may simply forget that stuff and have to learn it from scratch when you really need it. Or, you might not need it at all.
All in Good Time
Your family expectations can also be quite low for various reasons. Whether it is their own way of life they are used to or they underestimate you because you are a slow learner, take your time. If you refresh and practice your knowledge regularly, you’ll see the results. So, be patient.
Sure, it is challenging to keep on going when there is little to no support from your family, but there are many other people on the planet. For some, it is much easier to find that support outside the family circle.
Set the Boundaries
The phase of getting a higher education is special not only because it is about your future job. It’s a new stage in life: you get more responsibilities and learn how to be an independent individual. You will make mistakes and achieve new heights, but not all parents are ready to let their children do that. It is of utmost importance to let them understand that separation is inevitable so that they do not stay children forever and explore new opportunities. That is quite hard to do under overprotection, so be ready to resist the pressure you might experience and say ‘no.’
Work on Your Self-Esteem
Why would anyone believe they need to be better than they already are? Why would anyone try to meet someone’s expectations instead of building their own plans? It might be the case that you think your family knows better what you need. That is rarely true, maybe never. It doesn’t mean you should go against any piece of advice from your relatives.
For instance, if you can’t make up your mind regarding a university to apply to, it is okay to ask for a recommendation and simply consider someone’s opinion or experience. Yet, keep in mind that no one knows better what path to choose than you. If that is hard to comprehend, get professional advice – from a counselor, for instance. And don’t forget that you should also act. You will never know what decision is right or wrong unless you make it. Besides, every right step will help you to improve your self-esteem and learn how to listen to yourself first.
Final Word
To sum up, follow your own expectations. Focus on your values and take them into account when making any decision. Sure, it is not easy, but that is a part of becoming an adult, which is not as bad as many think. The main step to take is to separate from your parents, even though it might seem painful at first. In the end, it will give you space for development and payback.